How to: Approach That One PERSON – M2W and W2M


Every single person suffers from nervousness at some point of there lives. Whether it be a job interview, approaching your crush, or about to take an exam.

Being nervous is a good thing. It shows you that “You really want to do it but you don’t know what to expect or you’re just probably scared”. Also nervousness can get really bad, which in some people, it would be classified as anxiety that can cause them to hyperventilate (the act of breathing to fast). In movies, you would usually see people who get anxiety use a doggy bag or something and breath in and out in it. Reason for this is because when you hyperventilate like that, you tend to loose CO2 (carbon dioxide) which wouldn’t be good. So using the doggy bag helps the person retain more CO2. Enough of science stuff, let’s get back to the topic…..

Now… I’ll simply tell you how to approach that one PERSON. First I’ll do “Male approaching Female”, and I’ll give tips and men advice to Women to help them approach Men when needed.

Men approaching women

Men approaching women

There are many factors involved when approaching a lady, but choosing the right one is critical. Many men are afraid of rejection but it is rejection that makes you stronger. You learn from trial and error so to be great at something, you need to mess up a couple of times. So first thing first, BE YOURSELF. Lol we all hear this everyday blah blah blah, I know, but this is your front line offense, women can sense akwardness, lies, and when you’re not who you are, I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT WOMEN ARE CREEPY. So you can’t fail at being yourself, and if you approach someone and they actually like you for you rather than liking you for what you are NOT, then this is gonna be easy from this point on. Simple as that. Can’t stress this enough but just know, women like different things, some may like good guys, bad guys, nerds, geeks, freaks, creepy pervs (I’ve met some that admitted it lol), etc. So if you’re a Good guy-Nerd Hybrid, well so be it, you’re the best at being you and if she likes you for you, YOU’RE DONE BRO !

So nervous, you end up having a full meal in your tummy consisting of nails. YUM 🙂

Now, when you are about to talk to this lovely lady of yours, be very friendly, and throw some info about yourself here and there and get her to do the same too. Then tell her it was great meeting her, and it would be nice to see her again some time. Exchange contact info, this can be your phone number, snapchat, instagram, or e-mail, whatever. You want to make sure you have some time of contact to be able to get a hold of her if you know you won’t be seeing her any time soon depending on where you met her, University campus for example. I’ll give you a brief scenario:

I’m at school and just came from class. Decided to grab something to eat in the food court/cafeteria. As I sit down, I see one girl whose eating alone herself. She seems very approachable because she’s 1. Eating slow so she is not in a rush 2. My type and I know I at least have a chance 3. Lastly, she’s alone in a very public area. So I finish up my food real quick to prevent bringing it to her table so she doesn’t get the first idea of “What does this guy think he’s doing? Bringing his damn food to eat with me…??” So I time it correctly to approach her when she is NOT taking a bite to prevent a moment of silence of her trying to talk with a full mouth. Sooo…. I approach, and simply say “Hey, I’ve seen you around a couple of times, I was wondering, what program are you in? (This is a scenario based of a community college, or university). Most likely, she’s simply answer with a direct answer, stating “The Dentist Program” without adding a “and what about you or anything”. Why? because I made the question so straight forward and direct to the point where I’ll be forced to ask another question off the bat. **Acting like a FBI questioning a girl is not a good thing** So, instead I’ll say “I’m very curious of the program you’re in because I’ve never met a person with black uniform scrubs”. I made the question more open because now, since she found out I’m curious, it’ll be a higher chance of her asking me more questions than usual. Soooooo…… after that question, I’ll basically lead the conversation and keep it very friendly, brief, and about something we share which is going to the same college. I’ll throw in simple info about myself, and hopefully get her to throw some info also. After awhile of talking, I’ll tell her “It was nice meeting you”, obviously from a well conversation that was held, she’ll reply with either “Yes it was a pleasure”, “It was nice talking to you”, “It was nice meeting you too”. I’ll introduce myself at the end, but if you want, you can do it either or. Then I’ll say “Well we should grab lunch next time when you’re on a lunch break”. I wouldn’t get her number because I know I’ll run into her on campus at a point. I would attempt to get a contact info if I knew I wouldn’t be seeing her anytime soon, like if she’ll be graduating, or if she’s from another college eating in another college, or whatever.

Every time I approach a girl, it won’t go the same every single time, I may come across a girl that likes a specific race, maybe married/taken, or just doesn’t give off a good vibe. Just keep being friendly and be yourself. We’re men, take charge, chase, and talk. Don’t come off aggressive obviously but also don’t come off too passive. But like I said, many different women like different things. You might be passive and a women might like passive guys, who knows. Just don’t bring yourself down when you fail one at a time.

Smiling Woman Looking at Man
A lady approaching a man

Women Approaching Men

I’m not gonna demonstrate, or teach a lady how to approach a guy because I’m not a lady. **Biology fact** – The human brain of a female and male works completely different. Women process information different than men.

What I can do is give women pointers, tips, and advice. Basically a point of view of the other side of the wall. There are women who are aggressive and just go get what they want, but not every girl is like that. There are men that are aggressive and just go get what they want, but a lot of guys get too nervous. A lady’s job is to just sit there, look pretty, and chill and the guy just chases. But sometimes things can go wrong. You can get approached by a dude and actually like him, obviously if he approaches you, then he’s some what interested in you…. AND out of nowhere he just stops chasing, or he just stop pursuing and become more distant, blah blah, whatever. This would confuse a girl and she’ll be like “What the [BEEP] was that? I thought he liked me…… Wow guys are weird”… Well no, his actions are based off your actions. If you give off a bad vibe, he’ll probably sense it and choose to back away. Maybe you showed you were NOT interested, and he realized it and chose to back away. OR EVEN… you probably didn’t show any sign of “I’m interested in you also, c’mon, keep going with what you’re doing”. As a guy we always look for signs, like body language for example. But we won’t be able to catch every sign women throw out, thus giving us an idea of like either”I’m not interested” or we we’ll sense a bad vibe and think she’s mentally saying “Leave me alone you goblin looking MOFO!”  So in our defense, we will choose to back away. To prevent any misconceptions, as a lady, you can approach a dude you see you like and just talk to him, don’t be shy because the only thing that’s going to be in the dude’s head is “Wow, she just came out of nowhere and spoke to me…. I guess she’s interested”. This will be more effective if you catch eyes with him a couple of times and smile. If you guys catch eye contact a couple of times and you come out of nowhere and speak to him, he’s gonna know you’re interested on the spot and you can let the guy lead from that point. Some women wouldn’t really ever approach a guy first because they could be shy themselves or just don’t feel right doing it…. That’s fine, what you can do is show obvious signs of interest, don’t go overboard with “playing hard to get”, and help the dude out if he’s having trouble a little with trying to keep the conversation, if you like him and obviously if he likes you, then do him a favor and lead the conversation for him for a bit. Who knows, the guy who approached you that was so nervous and shy became the Boyfriend/Husband you always wanted.



To conclude, being yourself is the key in approaching any girl. Be friendly, don’t worry if you get rejected, you learn from trial and error my friend. You may get rejected because you done something wrong on many girls and realized it and fixed it. Just go talk to a girl, if you think she’s approachable, then go for it. Women, don’t be afraid to approach a dude, let alone lead the conversion.

She like smart dudes 🙂